Lately I’ve been lamenting how difficult life is here in Thailand. It’s fraught with problems. Although, compared to the kinds of problems people in my hometown of Los Angeles face, the things I refer to as “problems” are really not problems. While meditating on the concept, this little ditty popped out and onto the page. If anyone wants to put it to music, feel free and we can share the royalties.
Life in Thailand isn’t easy, and though you likely think it’s sleazy,
Things are mostly bland and breezy,
Barring all the problems.
Here are several examples, bits of life put forth as samples,
Over which irony tramples.
Call them Thailand problems:
Should I have a pint of beer, or would wine make things more clear,
And how might this decision steer
Me through my Thailand problems?
Buy my girl a new bikini, or just walk around Lumphini?
Maybe something inbetweeny.
It’s a Thailand problem.
Should I eat an Arno’s dinner, or something to make me thinner?
Took Lae Dee’s always a winner.
Damn these Thailand problems.
Should I trip the light fandango or eat sticky rice and mango?
Hard to watch a well laid plan go
South from Thailand problems.
Is Patpong the place to go, or is Nana apropos?
Maybe Cowboy’s more YOLO.
Textbook Thailand problem.
Now I’ll call my sweetheart Boom. No wait—Oil. She cleans my room.
Or would both be more “va-voom”?
Welcome to my problems.
Should I stroll around the mall, or just wait for Bow to call?
Either way I’ll have a ball.
One more Thailand problem.
If you think that these travails aren’t that bad and my grief pales
Compared to yours (it never fails), then just move here and tip the scales.
Put the wind back in your sails. Point your toes toward happy trails.
Write your own fantastic tales.
Come get Thailand problems.
Believe it or not, these are all of my problems
No matter how hard you might try, you can’t solve ’em
Maybe you don’t really think these are problems
Nothing else I can think of rhymes with problems)