Stop Dating Thai Women

by Olivia Gonzalez 0

Expats are divided over who the best East Asian women are. The qualifications tend to revolve around superficial traits like average height and eye squinty-ness. Regardless of where anyone stands in the debate, Asian women are considered to be some of the most desirable women in the world.

Thai women are widely recognized as perfect partners. They’re described as “traditional” alternatives to their western feminist counterparts. Thai women are marketed as gentle homemakers with charming accents and flawless skin. The negative stereotypes of bar girls or girls diggers are overshadowed by the stampede of expats blowing their life savings on retirement visas, desperately vying for attention from a Thai girl who will order food for him.

This needs to stop.

Shows like ’90 Day Fiance’ have done a great job of highlighting the humiliating spectacle of portly white men with immigrant wives. Though the mail order bride industry can’t be shut down over night, men can take steps to prevent toxic relationships by raising their standards.

The primary contingency of Asian women to avoid is Thais. Hopefully this article can shed some light on the problematic trend of foreigners falling for Thai women.

First things first, they’re using you for your money.

Expats complaining about the greed of their Thai partners is like alcoholics complaining about hangovers. There are no victims in these overtly conditional relationships,  only predators that operate on basic reptilian desires of sex and power.

The most pathetic thing is that many men willfully enter into these relationships, perhaps under the assumption that they’ll be able to “change” their partner or maybe even buy real human intimacy after enough cash withdrawals. Expats even have their own joke books filled with self deprecating punchlines that lampoon their sorry situations. Have some pride and avoid women who only want you for your five figure savings account. Shouldn’t this be obvious?

Thai women can’t even cook.

“But Olivia,” you whine, “my wife makes the best tom yum. Same can’t be said for my ex back in the West.”

Fair enough, just consider how often you crave steaming bowls of spicy seafood soup at lunch time. Try to recall how often you get the urge to fill your alcohol soaked body with papaya salad at the end of a riotous Saturday evening. Also, do you really prefer a bowl of rice porridge in the morning over a hearty plate of fluffy pancakes?

Your girl’s cooking stinks. More importantly,  her attempts to emulate your mama’s meatloaf are terrible. Her idea of how to season a steak is underwhelming. Not to mention, if she does somehow pull off a savory English breakfast,  there’s no way she’ll be eating it with you. She’ll be hunched over a plate of raw green beans and chilis, chomping away with her mouth wide open, scrolling through her Facebook feed. You deserve better.

Dating a Thai girl is bad optics.

Do you remember the first time you heard about a guy getting a Thai wife? You probably weren’t jealous. As a matter of fact, you were probably thinking the same thing that everyone was thinking, “What a creep.” You stared at the photo of a lecherous, sunburned old man groping a bikini clad teenager and filled in the blanks. Even if you were happy for the old man, you wondered why he would want to subject himself to public scrutiny by sharing his photo in the first place.

Well guess what, all those charming Facebook photos of you and your amateur massage therapist at cafes in Chiang Mai? The exact same thing.

Thai women hate your culture.

Foreigners who travel to Thailand are expected not only to appreciate the local culture,  but also to abide by local customs to such an extent that they’re liable to end up going viral on Facebook if they so much as point a toe in the wrong direction. Anyone who complains is attacked with a peanut gallery of insults that center around the basic premise of “go home if you don’t like it”.

Fair enough. However, in a relationship mutual respect should be of primary importance, and that just isn’t the case with Thai women. Want to argue with someone who tried to scam you? You’re embarrassing her. Need to send a dish back at your favorite restaurant? Now you’re losing face.

Thai women don’t seem to understand that conflict and confrontation are key elements of Western culture. Until they can appreciate your proud confidence, let them admire you from afar.

Or have them send nudes or something. Just stop cuffing them.