The Durian Challenge: Marry A Rich Woman

by Matt Gonzalez 0

The Durian Challenge: Marry A Rich Woman

The recent news of a wealthy durian farmer offering 10 million baht to any man who can marry his daughter has broken the internet. Many articles have detailed the father’s expectations, including his concern that some suitors might be “too cute”, and thus a liability in the relationship. The farmer went so far as to set up a challenge that required anyone interested in his daughter to work on his durian farm, unpaid, for up to 3 months. This competition was cancelled after the story went viral, and the family complained that all of the attention was negatively affecting their lives. It should be noted that the father still intends to give his future son in law the 10 million baht cash.

This is not the first time that a father has offered a large sum of money for a man to marry his daughter. Back in 2012, a Hong Kong billionaire offered 40 million pounds to anyone who could marry his lesbian daughter. As with the durian farmer’s offer, this story was widely circulated by news agencies and intelligently discussed amongst bachelors.

The world is infatuated by the spectacle of rich men raffling away their daughters to mediocre men. The phenomenon is even more shocking in the country of Thailand where wealthy Western men bring their riches only to settle for uneducated farm girls with tiny hands. The idea that a middle class man can marry an upper class socialite is so unusual that it hasn’t even been parodied in pop culture. It’s clear that women are expected to marry “up”. So why is that a bad thing?

Men are better than women.

The most absurd aspect of the durian farmer’s gauntlet is the fact that his daughter is rich by proxy. If the tables were turned and a wealthy family was offering money for a woman to marry their son, women would be less impressed by the money and more concerned about the problems with the son. I mean seriously, can you imagine a rich family offering a cash bonus for a woman to marry their boy? Even Donald Trump’s kid is married.

The fact is that men are more desirable. We have confidence, charisma, and charm that can only be emphasized by our wealth. A wealthy man is sexy. A wealthy woman is just that, a woman with money attached to her; like a Christmas toy with batteries included. Being a wealthy man and marrying a successful woman isn’t anything to be proud of. As men, we need to set our standards a little higher.

You should be with a rich Thai girl.

Foreigners have overcome a lot by living in Southeast Asia. We’ve acclimated to the heat, immunized ourselves to street meat, and settled for low wages in order to find peace in this tropical paradise. Despite all of this, many foreigners feel like they are required to spoil their women by taking them shopping in fancy malls and dining in expensive restaurants. Men go out of their way to appear financially stable despite the fact that a month of their salary barely covers a ticket home. The truth is, women only expect from you what you give to them for free. Is money the only thing you’ve got to give?

Marrying a rich Thai girl is difficult, but not any more difficult than texting with a bar girl. Actually, since wealthy Thais tend to be well educated, you might find that it’s even easier to communicate with rich Thai girls. You might also find that she’s so well-travelled, that she knows and appreciates your culture. Keeping a rich Thai girl is no different than keeping any other girl, other than the fact that she might be emotionally stunted by decades of involuntary celibacy caused by her devotion to her career. In this respect, there are pros and cons to being with a rich Thai girl.

Rich Asian women are durians.

Durians are an incredibly unique fruit. They are incredible to look at, uncomfortable to hold, and hard to find. You probably see the parallels we can make with rich Asian women. You see them all the time at Siam, gliding across polished marble floors and queuing up for overpriced bubble teas. They have the trademark, plastic pixie nose and porcelain white skin.

They’re also frigid; skeptical of men who might be after more than conversation. Even if they’re sexually liberated, their manicured nails are more like candy colored talons that can dig into your thin, freckled skin. They speak with a formal, impersonal affect that makes them seem disinterested. Even once you get married, you might find yourself sleeping in a different bed. Don’t take it personally, they’re durians after all.

These wealthy women are hard to find outside of their shopping mall habitats. When they go out, they’re out with friends. When they’re working, they’re working. They don’t use Tinder and they definitely don’t “hook up” at Kao San Road. If you find one and make her yours, you should feel proud. In fact, you should tell the world how proud you are.

The #DurianChallenge

You may have seen the occasional viral photo of a cheesing farang holding a meter long receipt from some “bar girl” bar. The total usually comes to around 50,000 baht, which is only impressive in that it’s hard to believe that one of those bars has that much stock.

I’d like to present a new challenge. Use the hashtag #DurianChallenge with a photo of your wealthy Asian girlfriend paying for one of your meals. The value of the meal that she’s paying for is eclipsed by your own value as a man. You are more valuable than a few thousand baht worth of well whiskeys, prove it with the hashtag.

Editor’s note:

Use the hashtag and Sweet3Mango will pick one lucky winner to join the author for a beer. Your rich Thai girlfriend can pay for our drinks as we play with our phones and giggle to each other while discussing how dumb our partners are.